There are topics that are foreign to us but the lack of familiarity
hardly stops us from airing our asinine opinions, incoherent and ill-informed,
most times. One such topic is homosexuality. Everybody has a view on it, many a
time so insensitive, one forgets the humane aspect. Am not going to define
homosexuality, I presume readers know what homosexuality means. In a world of
media paroxysm, ignorance is not bliss anymore. This subject is as germane as
global economy, poverty and sickness, climate change and other developmental
issues of today. Times have changed certainly, the unprecedented evolution of
the Gay community in arts, media, politics and entertainment has transformed
cultures and consciousness of people all over, giving homosexuals the podium they
deserve. Their emergence as a force has also resulted in appropriate emphasis
being laid on the aetiology, treatment and psychological aspects concerning
homosexuality. However this is just a fragment of the whole untold story.
Am not a whiz on religion, so I will not get into the religious aspect of this subject but it is common knowledge that no religion preaches discrimination of any sorts. Scientists have concluded after thorough research that homosexuality cannot be ‘cured’ as hoped by religious groups. It is not a mental illness as some people perceive it to be. The causes for homosexuality have not been clearly understood but most modern scientists have found enough evidence to suggest that genetics, the effects of pre-natal hormones while developing in the mother’s womb and environment have a big influence in the sexual orientation of a person. It is known that heterosexuality is backed by a theory as well but hasn’t been discussed in as much detail, hence the notion that homosexuality as sexual orientation is out of the ordinary. The question still lingers, Nature or Nurture !!!
When a homosexual person keeps his
sexual orientation to himself, he is deemed to be ‘closeted’.When he comes out
in the open about his sexual orientation he is deemed to have‘come out of the
closet’. In a world where homosexuality carries a tag, I can’t fathom why
someone would want to ‘come out of the closet’ when he feels unprepared to face
the cynics. Homosexuals are often subjected to heartlessness, intimidation and
provocation, giving them more than one reason not to ‘come out’.It basically
stems from the attitude of the people around, the assumptions from the lack of
knowledge, the lack of tolerance from family, friends and acquaintances, co-workers
and the general public who strangely have no relationship with the person in
question. How can harassment of any nature make it uncomplicated for a person
to live a normal life let alone as a homosexual?
Most of us are raised in heterosexual
environments, in households where men bring in the bacon and women bind the
household together. Growing up homosexual in such an environment without a
doubt results in confusion and uncertainty, fear of being discriminated against
and fear of being ostracised in the event of coming out. Most of us belong to
families and societies, which have much to say in the event of a crisis, not to
forget the sadistic pleasure one derives in witnessing the downfall of a family
or a person. Each wants to be superior to the other. In very few cases does the
family come together after an event of such gargantuan proportions, in most
cases it creates emotional distress for whole family.
Many researchers have discussed
theories and models of the development of homosexual identity. The most
prominent among them is Dr Richard R Troiden’s four step sociological model of
homosexual Identity formation, the stages being Sensitisation, Identity
Confusion, Identity Assumption and Commitment. In the first stage, which
happens before puberty he describes children feeling ‘different’ from their
peers of the same gender, this has more to do with gender identity than
sexuality. It is common for parents to pull children away from activities that
are not perceived to be in tune with their gender. Children who display
non-conformist behaviour are often coerced by parents to follow the norm,
resulting in confusion and assuming heterosexual identity. This is when the
feeling of inversion begins, a conflict of gender assumption arises, resulting
in decline of self esteem and alienation. While they do not consider themselves
heterosexuals anymore, they don’t identify as being homosexual either. In the
third stage they embark upon a self identification process along with being
presented an identity by their other homosexual peers, the process of coming
out to themselves and to their peers. This is the process of self recognition
and acceptance. The final stage is when the person assumes the lifestyle and
choices of a homosexual, starts feeling comfortable in his identity.
Homosexuality is here to stay and
society is gradually realising the same and making a change towards the
positive. However, I believe the change has to start from the family. How can
we expect the society to accept a person’s sexual orientation, when such
acceptance is not forthcoming from the family? Most homosexuals feel vindicated
once their family has accepted them for who they are. We face a lot of
discrimination in the world, socio-economic, racial, gender, albeit changes
over time, we recognise these discriminations still exist. We live in a
homophobic society, we must acknowledge discrimination against homosexuals will
be around for a while but we must not stop hoping for the better.
We are all part of the circle of life,
there are ups and downs, parallels and perpendiculars, confirmations and
contradictions we deal with, everyday of our lives. In the confines of this big
circle, we ought to live with respect for humanity most of all, the rest will
follow on its own.
It could be your child, show compassion!!!
