A Bird in a cage!!!

Life is a fairytale most times

Can be cruel sometimes

Sometimes red, sometimes black

My favourite colours alright

Yet, my most intense emotions in broad daylight

Nothing I say makes sense

Nothing I see makes sense

Nothing I hear makes sense

Nothing I feel makes sense

No one can make me feel wholesome

It’s my world of gloom

I sink deep into a reclusive world

Where there is none to care and cuddle

I own it; it’s just me and loneliness

A deep dark place

Where am white, enveloped by everything that’s black

I want to hold my hands straight up

Desperately wishing someone will pull me up

I feel so heavy, I sink further

Can’t make contact with the lunging hands

I withdraw, head down and crouched, clasping my knees

I want to see no one

I want to hear no voice

I want to sit in silence

Listening to the reverberation of my bleeding heart

And the river of sorrow in all its fury

I tell myself

Life is not always a fairytale

There are greys and blues too

Reach out and I will feel buoyant again

Not always easy to spell out loud

Try, try and try again

I want to cry

I want to scream

I want to kick

I want to destruct

I want to run

I want to just vent

It’s not easy to let go

It’s not easy to let it pass

It’s not easy to express

It’s not easy to evade

I sit still, all knotted up

There’s a hint of a breakthrough to see

Out of the blue, the hand of the most unlikely source

A few words of solace is all it takes

In minutes I see a flicker of light

I pull myself up with intent

Hands extended horizontally

Am finally free of the noose

Life is a fairytale again

Albeit only for the world outside

Deep inside there is lingering pain

Filling up the empty bottle slowly but steadily

Waiting to explode on another cloudy day

Free yourself and fly, fly, fly away !!!

My Little Red Riding Hood!!!

There’s anguish when I say I don’t know her very well, haven’t seen much of her either, blame it on our overseas assignment. Then again, we do meet briefly every Sunday, thanks to technology. Who does she think we are, I often ponder, People on a small screen TV or just people who visit her via laptop??? Either way, our rendezvous makes for some animated conversation, us in English and her in a language, which bears no name. In the midst of all the baby talk, we are also introduced to her new moves and wares, cruising in-between people moving in and out of our radar.

My most endearing moment came last week. We had not met her for close to a month. She had been on a busy touring schedule. I was busy myself, losing sleep over an image of her having forgotten our exisitence on her return and, having to make our grand entrance all over again. How silly!!! She did know me as that woman who performed her own lousy rendition of ‘Ol' Mc Donald’ every week, repeating the verse about pigs over and over again. 'A wee-wee here and a wee-wee there' was enough to get her started into her chuckling rountine. I would put my own routine on pause, just to give her and us some time to absorb the moment. Coming back to last Sunday, we were pleasantly surprised to see her break into a guffaw when we connected, unquestionably ecstatic to see us. She then turned to her Father and Grandmother sitting on her either side, probably to check if they were as elated. In a few seconds she turned coy, displayed with her tiny finger in her mouth. Then the finale, her new exhibits, a book on birds and a miniature candy pink cup from her basket of toys.

I present to you my adorable 15month old niece, Baby Manasi, the apple of ‘Indraprastha’ and certainly enjoying every bit of attention under the big bright sun.

Here’s a dedication to her, my most loved Nursery rhyme to date, as I remember it. I have no idea where this rhyme originated or if it were actually taught in school. It features one of my favourite farm animals…the pig. As for ‘piggy’, I absolutely love his pout.

Piggy on the Railway

Picking up stones;

Down came an engine,

Broke Piggy’s bones.

“Ah ! “ said Piggy,

“That’s not fair”,

“ Oh !” said the engine driver,

“I don’t care !”

The first of many….

Truly, Madly, Deeply.....

All I see is the smile

A broad, alluring smile

Legs dangling from a desk

A human pyramid surrounding him

 

I strain my neck

Catch a glimpse of a chocolate faced boy

In burgundy rimmed glasses

And squalid white sneakers

 

He appears from the huddle

A small frame

A wide grin on his face

Intriguing, yet not a man of my dreams

 

Christmas arrives

He forbids me to touch the calories

Couldn’t he have been more diplomatic

Impishness and charm not subtle

 

The walk down the stairs, every morning

Through the corridor

Past my table

Just to have some piping hot coffee???

 

A tap on my desk with a set of keys

On his way in and on his way out

It’s impracticable to ignore him

Followed by the yearning to see him

 

A holiday on the threshold

It's goodbye for a few days

Am at the exit

He's at the elevator

 

My Father’s hometown,

A souvenir shop beckons

I spend hours for my gifts

While my cousin lingers

 

Why does he get the best???

I wonder too

But I can’t stop myself

And her prying eyes

 

The calls in the evening make a splash

It’s just a ‘hello’, am assured

The questions from my Mother,

A noose around my neck

 

I confront him, it draws a zilch

Playing hard to get am sure

I pursue feverishly

I want my answers, I get none

 

A few indecent proposals

Am not about to give up

A yes, when I almost hang up my boots

Not convincing, yet am on cloud nine

 

Mars versus Venus,

Practical versus theatrical,

Composed versus excitable

What was I thinking???

 

Challenges from all directions,

People, places and ideologies

Nothing seems to deter me

From pursuing my flight of fancy

 

Foolish as some people would call it,

Am sure am right on this one

No qualms lingering over my head

Teething problems in plenty

 

He knows where his heart lies

He sure knows where his head lies

He knows how to separate them

So, I tell myself

 

Protective and indulgent

Thoughtful and considerate

Sensitive and strong

Humorous and young at heart

 

Life gets easier

Love grows fonder

Spirit soars by the minute

What more can a girl ask for???

 

Happy Birthday Love!!!