It’s very difficult to define life, it would depend on how one looks at it. Life for me is a philosophical concept, not as much biological. I would like to hence make a demarcation between the ‘definition’ and ‘meaning’ of life. The meaning of life therefore would constitute the purpose and the significance of our existence here. In layman terms it would just mean I live life with a goal in mind and by measuring how my actions would affect my subsistence and of others around me. Life has to come to an end and death, as the end is called is what am going to talk about.
Death is termed as the termination of the biological functions that sustain a living organism or simply, the cessation of life. However these are medical definitions. Like someone said, and I agree, death is the permanent interruption of life. The questions remain, why is it so difficult to deal with death, why do we fear it, why do we evade a discussion on it??? Before I deal with the subject, I must warn readers, am agnostic, what I write in here is my outlook on life and death, am neither endorsing anyone’s point of view nor am I claiming knowledge of the subject in question. Please pardon me for my politically incorrect views on it.
We know death is inevitable, yet when it happens, one is wrapped in denial, grief, confusion, fear and anxiety. Yes, it does depend on one’s relationship with the person, how intensely close one is to the departed. There is absolutely nothing one can say or do to make a person in grief feel better. It has to be dealt with by the person who is suffering in his own way and time. Grief does have its own schedule though and it can be complicated and unpredictable. There are good days and extremely bad days. Time does heal but I can assure you, one never forgets the bad time, one just gains enough perspective to deal with the wave of emotions. A sense of loss prevails and there is a void, which cannot be filled but the best way to deal with it is to have faith in oneself and trust that the process of grieving gets easier with time. One has to remember life has to go on.
I know not everybody fears death. The positive would say life is to be ‘lived’ and when death knocks at one’s door, one has to face it square on. I do not fear death. I do not know how it feels to fear it. I must however admit I do fear my death for my loved ones. I am talking about premature death here. How prepared are they for such an eventuality??? How would they take it and how would they deal with it??? Like a friend once told me, I wouldn't be around to know. It’s true but I would dearly love it if they didn’t have to go through the emotions, I went through when a near and dear passed away. It’s paralysing to say the least. The monetary aspects can always be taken care of, I know it’s easier said than done, we see so much emphasis being laid on it but what about the emotional aspects??? I’ve heard spirituality helps and am sure spiritual souls would vouch for it. I know they develop the discipline to withstand pain and suffering but how different are they from us, how much more equipped than us, mere mortals???
They say it is unhealthy to talk about death as a subject or even joke about it. Why is it so??? It’s not something that can be predicted or controlled, yet, it’s taboo to mention it. In my view, the fear of the subject does indicate something. Is it the fear of being unprepared, is it the fear of crippling emotions in the immediate aftermath, is it the fear of not being able to complete what one has set out to do, is it the negativity or the fear of death itself??? Whatever it may be, one must understand that no one escapes death and by talking about it or joking about it, one does not become negative, evil or crazy. Death as a discussion should not be scary and termed unhealthy.
'Don't die wondering' is a saying that is so pertinent here. It would be nice to leave this world without regrets, it would be sad to leave without leaving a mark on the lives we outlive. We are born with nothing and we leave with nothing. It’s important that we live large and savour our moments here as long as we are around. Am not a spiritual person but I believe each of us is endowed with a personality that can be moulded to affect the lives around us positively, a word of caution, ignore Adam’s apple.
I am all for celebrating life and, celebrating people after their death, any ritual, ceremony or an event to commemorate those good souls is welcome. I have no objections to the ‘end of life’ rituals for the dying. It's meant to bring peace, acceptance of the situation and help let go of pain and suffering. Rituals after death are meant for the soul to rest in peace, may I dare say, also for a painless crossover. My point, why should we have rituals to aide such a passage or a peaceful afterlife, shouldn’t the person’s esteemed life on Earth be testament enough for an uneventful crossover??? Does it make sense to pray for a departed soul who has lived the most evil life on Earth??? To each is own and I leave it at that, except that I have an opinion on it.
Maybe death is a part of life…no one is immortal and life has an expiry date. One has to come to terms with this fact, that should be reason enough for us to live lives full, content, healthy and packed with humour and goodness. It’s important to live life on our own terms.
Every man dies, not every man lives.....
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